Some days

I wish that things were more predictable.
Some days, I am pretty normal, you would know from looking at me that there is anything wrong. I can push myself and I can have good days, I can really push and have a couple of good days. I can to a point put a front on and grit my teeth and get on with things, without anyone knowing that I am feeling rough.

But then other days, days like today. I just feel so weary and tired that I have not the ability to care about keeping up appearances.

I slept well last night and got plenty of sleep. I did go out yesterday, but it was for a short time and I didnt push myself I just took things slowly and such.

And then I awoke this morning, and all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep for another few hours. I forced myself to get up and dressed. My usual routine now would be to help mum with dinner then we usually do something, like go for bread and milk and such. But I just didnt have the energy. I sat in the chair, staring into space. I managed to go out and get a drink just as dinner was done. I sat watching tv after dinner with my mum, shivering and feeling further exhausted.

I went up stairs to get a jumper, sat on my bed with my jumper on catching my breath and just couldnt move. If I was staying in I would normally play on the computer or read or something, but instead, I ended up curled up kinda drifting between sleep and awake for about 3 hours.

I had a routine doctors appointment to go to, to get my holiday meds sorted. Managed this, but had to ask mum to drive me as I just didnt feel up to driving.. Went home and curled up on the sofa. Didnt help with tea, didnt wash the tea dishes. Dragged myself upto bed, put the tv (which I hardly ever do) and just lay watching it all evening, I dont even know what I watched.

I cant even sleep in tomorrow, I have to be up mega early (for me anyways) as I have Liver clinic in Leeds. First one since I got trach. So thats about a 80 minute drive each way, plus time in the middle for bloods and examinations and speak to the doctors. blah. My dad has altered his shifts to take me so that he can drive. I just hope I dont feel as exhausted tomorrow.

oh and as for the doctors, my swab came back. I have cleared the staphylococcus but the pseudomonas is still present. I dont have a temperature, so it does seem to be just in my trach site at the moment, however, I have to do a sputum test first thing in the morning (joy of joys.) and have that sent off to be tested. Then I have a nice course of cipro to complete. Which I hope work as I finish them the day I go on holiday so if it dosnt clear it up, it will have to stay there for 2 weeks.

On that note, I can barley keep my eyes open. The only reason Im sitting here writting is because I forced myself to run my nebs, though it was a battle. So im going to crawl into bed now. And be up in 6.5 hours.

Sun, Good company and taking awful pictures of people =]

My weekend (just gone)

So I had a friend (Cam) come to stay for the weekend (well thursday till Tuesday) It was funny because we have been making plans to see each other since, almost this time last year, but various things have gotten in the way, hence why it has been so long. We still talk regular though, pretty much most days (well evenings, i dont really do days lol) but it was good to catch up properly.

I picked her up on Thursday afternoon from the train station. I had promised to tkae my nephew and nieces to see how to train your dragon in the cinemas, so I took Cam along with me. It was a good film, funny and cute at the same time. Though, the main dragon in it, toothless, reminded me a lot of stitch from Lillo and Stitch. Not that that is a bad thing as I absolutely adore stitch. I also decided while watching it that I want to call my next tortoise toothless.

My sister had done tea when I took the kids back so we stayed for pasta and a catch up. We had planned to go to see a friend who lives near Derby the next day, so on the way home, we stopped at the supermarket to get some supplies. Mainly because I knew I would need a caffeine boost to be up and driving at a reasonable time.

We exchanged presents back in my bedroom. I still had her Birthday, Christmas and Easter presents in my room ha. She had gotten me some littlemismatched socks (which are so cool) they some in a pack of 3 single odd yet matching socks. (pink and green stripes, pink with green stars and pink with green spots) and some bettie botts beans in really odd flavors. As well as a color your own cookie and anti nerd pills as well as a few other bits.

We also had a little play about with my bunny ears and horns as well as Cams head dress.

So the next day we left a little later than expected (oops) to pick up Duff, which was about a 200 mile round trip in total. I decided to wear my devil horns, so this was me just before we went.

Once there we bought some goodies and went to a local park for a picnic.

Yum yum
So we sat on the grass enjoying the sunshine and nibbling away.

And Duff was naughty (he smokes) tut tut

It was nice sitting out and just chatting. But slowly the park starting filling up with 'Chavs' and being asked for 40p to go towards a can of 'stella' was kind of the point where we decided enough was enough and it was time to leave. Plus it was starting to get chilly.

I have always heard the rumors about men never asking for directions, but i never realized just how bad they were at actually directing.  But I managed to read some sign posts and some guess work, amidst Duffs ummms and errrmms, but we eventually found our way back towards Duffs and went to Frankie and Bennies for tea. Duff drank alcohol (more tut tut)

After Cams dismay at ordering stuffed mushroom for a starter and literally getting one mushroom on a big plate, the rest of the meal was tasty and we were soon stuffed. Dropped Duff at home and drove home ourselves, where we promptly crashed into bed. ZZZzzzzz...

(though I did manage to fit in a unattractive picture of him heheh)

Saturday I was pretty exhausted so we decided to have a lazy day and not do much. We watched a film (though I fell asleep about half way through) and it was nice so we sat in the Garden for a while reading (and I managed to fit in another dooze) We then lounged about for a bit and played a bit of Wii. Cam had already dissected my bookshelf and set herself up with a reading list for her stay. (See I do have my uses)

She then made me watch Britains got Talent. I dont do the whole reality tv thing, so I would say she forced me to watch it, but my mum sat and watched with us too. We then ran the take away and got some fried rice for tea and sat and watch casualty. (I know sad, but im a sucker for gore :p)

Sunday we couldnt do much till my dad got up as he works nights on a Saturday. We wanted to go the beach, but it was to miserable and a bit drizzley. So instead we went to the Trafford centre for some retail therapy.

And then we sat in Starbucks on the couches with a book each and had some chill out time and some people watching. As the weekend had not been to busy and we were pretty much already in Manchester, we went to Imax to see Alice in Wonderland (again you might add, but Cam had not seen it) It was just as good the second time by the way, and I will still be getting it on DVD at some point)

Yes, Imax glasses are just the height of sexy!

Monday was effectively Cams last day, as she would be traveling to wherever she was off to on Tuesday.
So we thought we would have a bit of a night/evening out.

Started off with some more retail therapy in Liverpool Centre, which progressed to sitting outside a club in Concert square with some cocktails nom nom

ah, I do love sunshine, cocktails and good company.
We then headed to the other end of town to Liverpool One. (though Cam wont allow me to post the pic I took of her there =[ hehe notice how I managed to avoid most of these pics)

We went to Red Hot for tea. Which is a buffet style resturant, but they cook the foods as you request them and they do a whole range of different cuisines such as Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and a load of others. We also had flambéed fruit in malibu nom nom.

(Hehe it looks like Cam changed top in the middle of the night, but it was just my flash being silly asI only had my small camera with me)

This is Cam demonstrating how full she was.

I also managed to get some more practice in at taking really awful photos of people (I seem to have gotten good at that this weekend)

The original plan was to go for some drinks in one of the clubs and get the last train home. However, we sat and took our time while in red hot, including several bathroom breaks and rest periods. When we looked at the time that we got out, we had been in there for nearly 3 hours (oops) and we were so stuffed that there was no way we could have drank another drop, so we decided to get the train home instead.

Though Cam did enjoy showing off her food baby.

And then Tuesday Cam went home (which I wrote about yesterday, yes I realize my blogs are out of order but oh well) and that was my (long) weekend. =]