Monday, March 26, 2012

I did it!

I did a whole week of getting up early, for me.
A whole week of going to bed at a more sensible time.
And it wasnt an easy week, as we had the clock change last night, but I still did it.
And here I am, up again at 2am.

I got out of pattern today. Tomorrow, I must try to get back into pattern.
Being up earlier has altered my perception on things.
I dont think this is something I could have done a few weeks ago when breathing was harder.
I can do it now, as my energy levels are increasing.
The trach is not ideal.
But, my body is adjusting to being able to breather better than I was.
And with the comes more energy.
Being awake for longer, means I am moving about more, which in turn is draining me.
So its a bit like a circle.

Except now, when I am out, I dont stop due to all over exhaustion and feeling rather ill, instead it is due to sore muscles. But that is a good thing. Muscles I can work on, I am working on.
Before the trach, I would on average stay in for 5 days, then out for one and be exhausted the next day.
Right now, I have been out for the last 5 days. Out and walking and moving.
Its been hard work and I have found, that espcially with the current heat, I am needing a rest in the afternoon. But again, thats fine, because I am awake in the morning.
I hope to not need the rest in a few weeks, but for now, its fine.

I move and I work my muscles. I am active.
I sleep for an hour in the afternoon and then do things I need to get done in the evening.
There is still a long way to go, but this is progress, progress in the right direction.

Thats not to say that I am resigned to live with the trach, its still giving me a lot of problems, problems that I am going to need to pluck up the courage to deal with, but thats another day.
But to have the energy to do things, even simple things like walk and talk, which I couldnt do before the trach as I couldnt complete my sentences, its just a huge differnce.

Plus it kinda proves to myself, that perhaps it wasnt all in my head.
Now, I just need to get back into my good habbits.

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