One day at a time.

Life is changing, evolving, growing.
I need to change my priortise.
I need to work out what is important.

I am still might against the trach, but perhaps if I give it a chance, it can work out.
I must admit, it would be nice to not spend so much time in and out of hospital and theatre.

I am also not in the same position that I was last time I got one.
It was a sharp wake up call when my surgeon close to home reminded me of that this week.
How last time, things were desperate. There were a lot of close calls.
As he put it, I was very ill and very weak.
I worried him a lot and scared the heck out of him when I would drive to college despite being to breathless to get a full sentence out.
As he said, we dont keep people in ICU for weeks at a time for fun.
And not many patients stay under ward care for 5 months.
And as we joked, not many patients would get the privalage of the hospital staff seeking his advise at a 3am.

I am strong and in so many ways. This is going to be the turn around.
It has to be.

I am still putting a plan B into place though, which may still back fire, but is a risk I think I need to take.

Right now, exhaustion is setting in. If i am active for more than say 30 mins, I get so exhausted that I just want to sleep. Im aching from coughing also. But I am not as restricted as I thought I would be. Although it is tiring, I am still able to do jobs without feeling like I am about to collapse. This is all positive. This is all great.

I am spring cleaning my room and sorting my wardrobe out, to make things easier to, so I hope to get that done soon. It would be nice to see my floor once again.

One day at a time.