Sunday, January 08, 2012

lies

I told a lie today. It was only a small lie, the same one I have told so many times before.
But once I finished telling, i didn't feel the same careless shrug I usually feel. I was smiling, reflecting.
It was upon this discovery that i stopped and thought. Perhaps it wasn't a lie. Maybe it's the truth. The thing i have wanted to be true for so long, now seems so natural.

I was talking about the past. About everything really. And i said I was so lucky. That sure things may not be ideal, but I was thankful to be where I am now.

It is true. For so long I resented being saved. I hated that things were hard. But right now, I am filled to the brim with love and gratitude. I could have lost much, yet here I am.

I will always want more but that doesn't mean I am not Damn grateful for what I have. I have so many opportunities and so many prospects that i can't wait to try out.

Hospital wise things are going so well. There are bound to be small hicups but i know i can beat them. I have a wonderful life ahead of me, filled with such amazing people, that I can't wait to get on with living it.

Oh and this was the first skin graft where there was no new or open scars to be discovered. Everything is on the up. And i can breathe a deep breath and admire the view from the top.
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