Its dark outside, after midnight and I am quietly creeping in through the front door.
The house is quiet is in darkness and quiet.
I lock up and put the alarm on, before creeping up the stairs and into bed.
There is something missing that is in my memories though.
When I used to come in, it was from a night out partying.
I used to go up the stairs on my hands and knees to prevent falling over or because my feet were sore from dancing.
Tonight, it was out of exhaustion.
I have just gotten back from A&E.
Mum has had a bad recation to the chemo again and thrown a temperature.
I took her in at 4 this afternoon and have just gotten home.
Although all her results look clear, as she is feeling rough and has a temp, they want to keep her in over night.
She has just had a cry on my shoulder. I wish so much Icould take this pain away from her.
To perhaps deal with it instead for her.
You know, I always thought that I has a low pain tolerance.
Sure there has been the self inflicted shit, but her, that differnce.
But medical stuff has just kinda been accepted.
I bearly notice them putting canulas in these days and flushing them when they tissue, is just something that goes with them.
But, watching my mum in tears with it, every time the drip is moved.
I wish so much I could take this away from her.
But then, I guess you know its going to be a bad day, when you wake up and can bearly move one side of your face.
This morning, I was virtually stuck to the pillow (I know so attractive)
Upon a prod and a poke and making it to the mirror, I discovered that I somewhat resembled a hamster.