Ice

So after seeing my mum in the afternoon, they said she would likely be out by tea time. I had some tickets that I got for my birthday to see Cirque de Glace that night, so mum told me I should go.
So my friend picked me up, we had some tea and went to see it.



The show itself was wonderful. The skating was amazing and I despite my mind not being in the right place, I found myself grinning a fair bit through the performance.

I have never really acknowledged to myself that I missed skating. It sounds silly, but I never fully realised. But watching them bought a lot back to me.

I miss the speed and the control from skating. Before my throat collapsed, I used to love going skating. The cool air, used to help my breathing improve and where I could only move at an average speed on my feet, once on the ice, I could get heck of a lot of speed up. Skating felt natural. I went twice when I was a young child and within 10 minutes of being on the ice, I was skating confidently on my own, which is something to be proud of to begin with.

Once I started lessons, I mostly skipped through them. Most people would do one grade per 6 weeks, but I found myself managing to skip through and do 3 grades per 6 weeks most of the time.

I love it. I was there with full control of my body, making it do what I told it. Improving. Moving on to spins, jumps and turns. No fear of throwing my body into the air to try out new moves. The wind in my hair and the rink a blur. I used to practice once a week. Put on my headphones and skate for about 4 hours solid.

At the time, there were two pair skates practicing for the olympics, so I often used to stay and watch their session once I was tired enough to get off the ice. Even to skate on the same ice as them felt amazing, but watching them was like a trance and I longed to be able to do the moves they would perform with ease and grace.

But more so than that, Skating, represents a good time in my life. I was in uni and nursing full time. I often went on clubbing at the weekend. Skating on a Thursday night. My own car, my own finances, lots of friends and generally enjoying life.

Health, money issues and car trouble all came crashing down and skating became a distant memory. A year or so later, when I tried to get back on the ice, there was no spark. My feet wouldnt stand in the skates, my legs wouldnt lift for basic moves, never mind jumps. I grew dizzy on small spins but most off, there was no enjoyment. I watched the clock the whole time, wondering when I could go home.

Skating will always hold a special place in my heart, but I dont think I could return for the foreseeable future. Who knows, maybe I will find a new love.