It would be rude of me not to give you the fully story.
When I was a child, I fell in love with a bear, the only problem was, he did not belong to me, perhaps that is why he was so attractive, always want what you cant have right? This bear looked identical to the one above and he was a christening present to my brother.
I of course kept stealing it until he and my parents finally agreed that I could have the bear and I named it Christopher after my brother. Well Christopher Bear went everywhere with me and I mean everywhere. Mum used to have to wait till I had gone to sleep to put him in the wash and sneak him back before I awoke.
He had to have a lot of 'surgery' through his life for things like arms and ears falling off. His heart on his chest had completley worn away as had the majority of his fur. But I loved him dearly. At one point, while driving along a busy road in France my brother was tormentng me and was hanging him out the window until he accidently dropped him. He kept whispering me to keep quiet about it and he would but me a new one as soon as we got home. I of course began crying so mum turned around to see what was up, cue a 15 minute drive back down the road to try and find him and my brother getting a telling off.
One day, we were at a car boot sale and I found an identical bear, it was the first time I had seen such a bear and i of course bought it. Mum tried to make me swap the bears so that the real Christopher bear could have a break and not wear anymore of his fur out. He didnt get swapped, the original bear felt more loved and cuddly.
Anyway, when I left home, Christopher bear of course came with me. This was a big mistake.
Next thing I know I am in ICU and I want my bear!! I got real grouchy over it too. They even rang my mum at about 4am once asking which bear was christopher bear as they couldnt get me to settle as I wanted him. haha. I blame the ICU psychosis or perhaps the liver failure stuff, but I turned into a rather large 3 year old during my time in there.
So for the last 7 years I have been mourning the loss of my bear! I still miss him and his grubby baldy fur (RIP Christopher Bear)
Last week when I was not feeling well, I had my niece staying in our spare room, I was tucking her in and found the bear I bought at the car boot. He is an impostor, but I have to face it that the real bear is never going to be seen again. So Christopher Bear the second (CB2) came and comforted me and snuggled with me last week. So for now, we are going to work on our relationship together.
I am in one of those places, where I miss sleeping with bear (that sounds rude and I mean it in an innocent way) but do I really want to get into the habbit of sleeping with a teddy at my age?
Oh well, I will be sleeping with him tonight as yet again I need comfort.
I am getting fed up of reporting in here how crap I feel, but oh well. Yesterday, I kept going dizzy all day and generally feeling not right. This morning I awoke feeling so blocked up that I was talking through my nose and sneezing my head off. Tonight I am going to bed with swollen glands.
I dread the morning as a blocked nose usually results in me sleeping with my mouth open (attractive arnt I?), which leads to a dry throat, which often swells and causes pain as well as clogging up my chest. Blah.
What I am more upset about, is I am meant to be taking my niece out for halloween tomorrow and yet all I want to do is curl up my duvet with a hot drink, but I bought like the best wings ever!! and I want to get dressed up. So I have decided that if I feel the way I do now, tomorrow, I will go, if I feel worse, then I will have to cancel as being out in the cold, really isnt a good idea if I want to be well enough for my next admission.
On that note, meds, vaseline my nose my nsoe as it glows like rudolph tonight and then bed with my bear. Night night.
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