I awoke this morning, or would that be awoken?! early. So by 7am, I was showered, bed changed and all set for surgery. Though, I felt like a complete fraud! I checked my peak flows and they had shot up to 240. That is like what they were virtually when I was discharged 2 weeks ago. I explained all this to the surgeon and he said, well that is a good sign as it shows the steroids are working.
Anyway, I ended up getting the very first theatre slot so by 8:40, an anesthetist came to take me up, not even a porter lol. It was a bit hectic as you didnt have to do the usual wait around for a nurse and handover upstairs, it was just get into bed lets go. So got up there and they tried to flush my IV line, I had had my morning meds through it, but it had been painful and difficult, by the time I was upstairs, nothing would go through, so out came that line and with a lot of poking and prodding, they got a new line in, which is much more comfortable.
For some reason there were 4 anestists in the room with me. I think 2 were supposed to be there as scheduled in, then another random person showed up and starts asking me lots of questions and then last minute the big surgeons, anestist came in as well. spoilt eh.
So it felt odd going off without my trach, I had forgotten how annoying their stupid oxygen mask is that crushes your eyes lol, but I was out for the coutn pretty quick so all good. Came around in recovery and imediatly thought something had gone wrong. I looked at the clock on the wall and it showed 12, now if I was in theatre by 9, that would be a long scope. I was also wrapped in a huggy blanket. Which is a big blow up blanket filled with hot air. After about 20 mins I realized the clock was still on 12 so I had my times wrong and the blanket was just because I had done my usual of getting very cold during theatre.
So I came back to the ward and slept through dinner and most the afternoon. Strolled to the loo a couple of times, but things were difficult and I was struggling for breathe. This has luckily eased through the day and so it must have been post op swelling. Spoke to the surgeon later on and he seemed happy with the way things are going. Going to give me one last dose of steroids tomorrow morning and then see if my airway holds its own from then on. Plan is, to aim for discharge on Monday and come back in for another check up in a couple of weeks.
So overall looking good.
I ordered a book the other day, which I have been reading (and almost finished) and I have been totally engrossed in it. Its called 'Will I still be me' and is about a lady who is a psychologist who goes through a heart and lung transplant. There is so much in it that I relate to and so much of it is humbling. She deals with things so well and admits when she is struggling.
Would I recommend this book? Now that is a difficult one. Yes I would, but it would have to be to the right people. The main people who would want to read it would be those on transplant lists and such. But it is a true tale, it says the good aspects, but also some of the bad, like medication side effects and time to get over surgery. It is enlightening reading it, but if you were to read it you would have to force yourself through and not stop when things got dim in the middle.
Speaking of humbeling people, I seem to be surrounded by a lot of them at the moment, kinda really puts things into perspective. From the lady in the bed next to me who has had a breast reconstruction after having breast cancer, she is always smiling and sweet and happy and to hear her joy at looking down at her chest for the first time today.
To the lady in the bed opposite me, who had to have her trach put back in the other day. She is upset about it, I mean you would be, but she also has a lot of other stuff going on. She is physically disabled already but she is her mums main carer at home. Now being a carer is a huge challenge for anyone, let alone someone physically challenged and with a trach. Though, the day after she got her trach put in, her mum had a stroke and all she wants to do is be with her mum not stuck in hospital unable to go help. Amazing how much people can put others ahead of themselves.
I have a few projects that I want to work on, but I do so want to give back something. Instead of relaying on others all the time. Espcially my parents. You know, at their age, I should have an adult relationship with them, they should be retiring and I should have my own place and call around to help with shopping. Instead, they have to act like parents to a small child still. Encouraging and even doing my laundry, meals and other such delights.
Things are on the improvement, once this all settles down, I am going to get things back in the right order. I want to put together some kinda, images towards tracheal stenosis, kinda promotion/awareness type of things. I have also been in touch with Leeds Liver Transplant support group and have offered to help them with a website. We are in discussion around it at present. I know I need to start off small. Projects that I can manage at my own pace and work up to getting into routines to work.
I have also been doodeling and thinking, I really do want another tattoo. This is pretty much the picture I think I have decided on;
I want the ribbon to be green, for transplant awareness, but not sure on the color of the butterfly. Need to draw it a few more times then digitalise it. The latin underneath, says where the fates bare us. Which is kinda fitting for my transplant, though I have a few other latin pieces that I am undecided on yet. Ideally, I would want it to be on the back of my wrist, but I dont know if I would get the full effect by the time I shrink it. I dont know, I still need to think about it some, maybe even draw it on and such.
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