Monday, August 23, 2010

Today was a much better day than yesterday.

It was Cams Birthday!! I couldnt get to hers to see her so she came to me. We got a big pizza between us for dinner. We were going to eat it on the ward, but the lady in the bed opposite was nil by mouth and I felt mean making the place smell of pizza, so we went to sit outside the ward. Someone was already on the seats outside, so we soon found ourselves sitting on the windowsill in the Stair well by my ward.

Ha we did get some funny looks, my nurse walked past and someone else was doing a physio stair test, but it was worth it and the pizza was very very yummy. Cam then went and got cake and we watched a film, had a natter and ate cake.

The ward feels so much different tonight. My bay has 4 beds in it. 2 beds have been discharged this morning and one lady went to theatre and was then transfered to a regular orthopedic ward instead of the HDU ward. 2 new people were admitted, both cancer patients. 1 has since discharged herself and the other one is as insane as they come. She is currently out having a smoke (need I say more on the subject) so I am sat in a bay of 4 beds all on my own.

Things feel strange at the moment, kinda shows how much I am just waiting things out. I know that I will be in for at least 2 another 2 weeks, which I supposse I always knew, but previously when I have had long admissions, it has never been oh you will be in for a long time type of thing, its always been, you will be discharged soon you just have to get to this point, be it fitness, blood results, stability. Now, now matter what I do or what happens, it wont change anything I will still be here. None of that anticipation of oh I might be home in time for that. Kinda makes it seem like a lot longer.

On the flip side of that coin, I know that I will be looked after for the next 2 weeks and even better, that in 2 weeks from now, I could be totally trach free and breathing easy.

My life is in Limbo so to speak. 2 weeks of suspended animation. If all goes to plan, it looks like I *might* be able to go back to uni in september after all. I was going to email my tutor as I thought I would be in and out of hospital every couple of weeks for a few months, but it dosnt look like it is going that way.

My life is on the up. In a few short weeks, I could be back on track, training, breathing, talking.

The night view out of the window, though not very clear due to the glare of the lights. The steak of black towards the top left of the lights is the Thames and the light in the sky is a plane headed to Heathrow. 

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