Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Future progress and opportunity.

Things continue to go on the up and right now. I am feeling good and steady within myself. I have set myself small goals that I am achieving. Getting up at a resonable time (Which is before 10 btw) Still working on getting to bed earlier, but a few times I have fallen asleep mid night time nebs, which you would think would show me something but it takes a lot for me to get the hint. I am showering frequently, my room is tidy and everyday I am keeping on top of it. I am mostly keeping awake during the day unless I have really pushed it or gotten up extra early when I have a nap.

More than that, I have started eating clean and proper. Cut down on the carbs, and the junk food, completely cut out coke and soda. I have more energy I think. I have been trying to exercise. Small things, but I have noticed it getting slowly easier. And so this week I joined a gym. Now I am hoping against hope that I dont become one of those people who never use it. I wanted more advice on what I can work on and how. So after a session with a personal trainer, I have some better ideas. Cardio work is a struggle and so we have to keep that low and not push to hard, in order to keep my oxygen levels up and my pulse rate down. But weight work well for me. I aim to build muscle. I can do weight work, as you can go as slow as you need and still have it work. I am looking forward to going back.

My thoughts and aims is that is I build more muscle, my body will work more effectivly and therefore need less breathing to move around and leaving me able to do more. That is my theory anyway.

There is a long way to go, but I feel I am finally able to move on and accept who I now am, finally able to work on moving towards the person that I want to be, to achieve what I want to achieve.

I know that there will be obstacles in my way. I know it wont be a smoothe journey, but it is one I am ready for.

Oh, I also had surgery a fotnight ago. The findings were that my airway above my trach had closed to a pin hole, that was why I had such headaches and talking had become next to impossible. I pretty much expected it. For the time being the bottom of the airway, still looks inflammed, but scar tissue has no pushed its way through just yet. After talking we were throwing ideas back and forth, I like that I am able to do that with my surgeon. This guy is a world renowned surgeon and yet he can be honest about what he is thinking with me, can ask me what I think of his ideas and I am able to throw some ideas back at him to think on. Between us, we did come up with an idea, but the chances of it working are slim, however, it wouldnt require much hospital time and would be low risk, so it might be worth a go.  But for now, I am going with the trying to get my body into a better place first.

I think that it might be almost time for another adventure. I went to Alton towers with my 2 nieces the other week (Yes you read that right 2!) I was super excited as I seem to be building bridges and slowly getting family members back. Another one where time will tell. I guess there is a lot to wait and see for. Perhaps this is why the future seems so sparkly right now, it is full of opertunity, and that is all I have ever really wanted, the oppertunity for better.

Anyway enough ramble for the time being.

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