Sunday, September 16, 2012

thinking time.

Hopefully this is going to work as it's a new app I have found. The blogger one for some reason Dosnt let you sign in with a non Google email. So I have a new cannula in a less than comfortable spot, but at least it is in. I actually had a good chat with one of the docs this morning. It was interesting but Damn I hate him for it. He has planted a seed in my mind that won't leave me alone. He said that my medical knowledge is astounding and that I should become a doctor as i would probably know more most doctors anyway. I told him about my nurse training to which he said see you have so many views of medicine, you should do it. Then he said, if you were able to even do your nurse training, you would make a wonderful airway specialist nurse. And now all I can think of is the future and uni. I'm actually crying thinking about it. It would solve a lot. My need to give something back, wanting to leave my mark. This sounds like a good thing I'm sure. But i had put the idea if a future far out my mind. By not having a future it made not having a present easier to deal with and the chance of not living into the future was fine as there wasn't much there anyway. And yet this is like somebody switching a light on. Believing in me and seeing something more than broken. My mind wanders and jumps. Could this be what pulls me through? It's all so confusing. [image_0]

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