life

Perhaps, life isnt about meeting preset goals, but in fact more so about enjoying what you do have and sharing as much love as you can through it.

I have had my niece down the last few days. And where I always feel like I let her down as I sleep a lot and cant be up and about doing loads of fun things, instead, I feel at peace with her. We have had a great time.

We have been making craft stuff of an evening and she has made a couple of really pretty cards. But more than that, we work well together. She has some nice ideas and we bounce them around back an forth. She has also been helping me to keep the house running and such.

I have let her express herself in many ways, from hair and makup and playing about in heels. To drawing and cutting and cuddling up with a good film.

She used to have two bear factory bears, that she loved. But they got lost in the house move. I know she missed me when I am in hospital and she sturggles whenever I end up in ICU, as she cant visit due to being to young. So today, I bought her a new bear. She probably is at the upper age for getting bears, but I know she will treasure it.

We also won a huge bar of dairy milk on the arcade machine and generally had fun annoying each other.

I was taking her home tonight and she turned the music right down looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes and said thank you for being my auntie. I have had the best time the last few days.

There was other stuff said, but my heart felt like it might explode.

Then I thought, yeh I am frustrated with things, but you know what, even if I have to stay like this for the rest of my life, I can deal with that. There are things I can do.I can still have fun and be useful, I just have to change my expectations.

Things are going good at the moment, mood wise.I do hope they stay like that.