Upwards hill

I want to update here more, whilst im stuck in here, I really do. But the time is escaping me more than usual.

When at home, I often update at silly o clock in the morning, usually because I tend not to go to bed/sleep till about 3am. Its an old habbit and as they say, old habbits die hard, but I do genuinly sleep better during the day, when the light is streaming through the window and has that lovely warm feel to it. I guess, things just feel safer.

At the moment, I want to say things are pretty stable, and they do feel stable, yet at the same time, they feel so far out of my control that it is just silly.

This surgery should have a lesser recovery than my last big one, it should be plain sailings. So far, it hasnt lived upto it name.

The tube I am breathing through, should be adequate for me to cope on with normal everday living. So, I am not meant to go running up stairs or running anywhere for that matter, but I should be able to potter about and socialise with little effort. However, Sitting still and breathing at a normal relaxed rate, still drops my oxygen levels down to 94%. Its not much under, but it shouldnt be under at all. Throw in a coughing fit or a bit of movement and they drop again.

The only usually give me antibiotics for the first 2 days out of surgery, however, mine had to be increased this time due to my temp spiking. We are trailing a stop of them again tonight to see if my temp stays normals so fingers crossed.

The type of tube they have used is differnt from the last and can not be taken out to clean. This means, I have to work hard to keep it clear. Loads of nebs all the time, even waking a couple of times through the night to run some. Suctioning doesnt help, as the only tubes small enough to go down and the too small to pick anything up.

My skin graft site is giving me a whole host of problems that I never had last time. LAst time it just kinda healed, with dressing changes only when I requested them as it felt to long inbetween the changes. This time, it has a alot of fluid and so new dressings keep having to be applied on top. I can jsut be sitting on my bed, when the dressing will suddenly leak with tons of fluid.

Everything generally feels more paniful than last time and seems to be taking longer to settle. Although, I have had to have the painkillers reduced as they were making me so very dizzy that I felt I was falling off the bed.

Perhaps this is my bodies way of complaining. Kinda like, were fed up of this, now listen to us ha.

So as a result, I have not only been in bed, but fast asleep most nights by 11 if not 10. I wake at 8, have something to eat, then sleep till 12.Yup you guessed it, have something to eat and then sleep. Ah, and I am not just being laxy. I literally cant stay awake. My eyes cross and I cant keep them open