rattle

I want to apologies for last nights post, I was having a  bad night. Yes they do seem to be occurring more often, but for now they are controllable and I hope you dont think any less of me. I guess, I am just getting tired of all the uncertainty and not being where I want to be or achieving the goals I set.

Things are getting difficult again in the breathing category. I dont know, its odd, is it because I know I am going in next week that things suddenly get worse? or is it because before christmas I needed to make my throat last so as to get through christmas out of hospital, so I did less, I was out and about less and rested more. Now that I know that I am going in, I am doing things daily, I am being active. Sure I sleep for like 12 hours of a night, but I am out most days.

Today, was a particularly hard day. I awoke with a major headache, never a good sign. Breathing was hard, like there was a permeant resistance there. I am trying to think how to describe it. I guess it is kinda like blowing up a ballon, but to a lesser extent. The hardest part is gettin the air out. Yawing becomes a real problem, as when I yawn, I then tend to have a long yawn, then breathe out quick and take a big breath back in. At the moment, after a yawn, I cant get the breathe out, so by the time I do I have to breathe in again quick.

I spent the day working on some dreaded paper work, which I still have not finished, so hardly moved around. I got up at 12. At 6 I had my tea and promptly fell asleep on the couch for 2 hours. I woke myself with the noise I was making, it was a very loud rattle. Even my mum was laughing at my 'snoring'

So that was it, exhaustion even from doing nothing. Though, I am now finding that by evening, my breathing feels better, but maybe thats because I dont potter around at this time of night.

Roll on Monday.