Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Progress and completion

I could have done without that week in hospital!!
Where has the time gone, Christmas is so close now.

Things have been strange. My last admission, was hard. I struggled the whole way through. I am not sure if it was because I went in nearly the exact same time as I went into hospital last year, but I ended up staying for 3 months last year. Perhaps it just made me reaslise just how vulnerable I am right now.

I have said for the last few months, that I have this odd feeling that I need to make the most out of this Christmas, and that is what I intend doing. I want to make lots of happy memories this year and I want to give the people who mean the most to me special presents, that mean things.

When I was in hospital, at one point, I felt so rough, was in so much pain and so many of my blood tests were out of range that it felt like my body was giving up on me. All I could think of was please not yet. I hadnt had my Christmas. Years ago, when I was stabbed, I made a deal that I just wanted one more Christmas well I got that and then I got greedy. But I am not going to be greedy now, just let me finish everything and have a good year.

Now, I am still recovering, still have a persistent cough and feeling run down. But I am determined that I am not going to let that stop me! There are things that need doing. For example, I had promised to clean my mums carpet, something that has been put off for too long due to me being unwell. So Sunday we got the machine and cleaned right through. Anyone in the UK, who is thinking of cleaning their carpet I really do recommend the rug doctor. Its so much easier than the other home machines and wow it makes such a huge difference. Anyway, that was Sunday and Monday and believe me I ached afterwards.

Monday I also had thoracic clinic with my surgeon. He actually zoomed the xray in properly for me on the screen so I could see. Its amazing looking at my trachea, you can see the narrowing so clearly. I would guess, looking it at, that I am currently on about 50% of my normal. More so than that, I am at 4 weeks now since my last dilation and laser, this is the longest I have gone since my resection! And yes, I do still feel breathless, but I have not hit the point where I struggle to do basic things due to it. This means one of two things. Either I am getting used to the breathlessness or the scar formation has finally slowed down.

I guess the next thing will be to find out where my normal is. From the start, I had hoped that I would end in having a normal airway and be able to breathe the same as anyone else my age. That is probably not going happen and I need to adjust to that. But, right now, I dont have a trach in! I am out of hospital and I am able to potter around. Sure I cant run marathons or even a flight of stairs, but I can walk on flat ground and almost hold a conversation whilst doing it. As I have not had surgery, my voice is the strongest it has been in over a year. It still breaks and I cant adjust the volume of my voice, but I can get my voice across and I even had a phone conversation with my doctor today. So looking good!! (dare I say that?!)

In other news, I have actully finished some of my projects I had on the go! I wanted to photograph them, but my web cam is playing up (boo!) But my sisters scrapbook is 100% done as of tonight. My nephews canvas is finished! and I have made a special christmas card for my neighbor. Oh and I stitched a sock monkey and completed a small cross stitch of a tortoise for my mum. (Must be the first one I have completed in about 3 years)

Yesterday, I also started the project I wanted to do for my mum for christmas. Its turned out great so far and I have completed the main snowman part. Now I just need to try and find a large piece of felt to use a backing, but I am working on that.

Things are going well! I have motivation, I have completed some projects and next week I am taking my niece to London for her 18th! I cant wait. It will be very christmasy in London and its just going to be fun. I am debating on getting my tattoo on the anniversary of my transplant! IfI can afford it I may get it. eek.

Things are going well! This is usually the time of year when I go off on one and lose everything! But I am determined this year that it will not happen. That is one of the reasons why I am keeping busy, but it seems to be working so far.


  1. Kim, wishing you a wonderful holiday. Try to take it easy and don't over do it. I am still having problems with my voice going out and the breathing can be difficult. My doctors still don't have an answer. Hopefully it will leave after transplant.
    Be well.

  2. Sending you wishes for a Christmas that is all you want it to be. I hope it is filled with the people and things that you love (and is the start of many more wonderful Christmases to come). So glad that some of what you hoped for in having this operation is happening -- most of all that you have not had to have your trach tube reinserted, and you can talk AUDIBLY!!!
    Hope you have an awesome trip into London with your niece, and congrats on getting so much finished in time for Christmas!!