Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Sleep needed

Tonight, I am so exhausted.
I know I say that a lot, but today it feels extreme.

Yesterday was the solicitors, which didnt go to bad, though I have a ton of work that I need to do with dates and appointments and such, fun times eh. Afterwards, I walked around town for a short while, picking up a few bits I needed, a couple of head bands and some leggings and such. I felt tired, but it was more of a sleepy cant wake up tired.

Then today, I went shopping with my mum. Again, I wasnt out that long. But I did have to run back to another shop to pick something up for my sis as we realised that the shop was going to close before we got back to it. But afterwards, I got in the car and it just kinda hit me. I just felt drained, like I had run a marathon or something. By the time I got home, I just wanted to collapse.

I stood in the kitchen to wash the tea dishes, and I just wanted to cry. My legs and arms feel like they are full of lead and I  feel like I havnt slept in a month. I ache and I am tired.

I dont think I can deny it any longer, my breathing is gradually getting worse again. I am at the point where slow flat walking is ok, but take it to normal speed walking or add a hill and I cant do it. I walk up the stairs at  my slow walking pace and I would guess it takes about 4-6 minutes to catch my breath once again. My peak flows are worse of a morning than an evening, but the difference between the two is getting less and less. I am averaging about 180 at the moment.

I have an appointment in London next Wednesday. I am hoping in the mean time, that my breathing does not drop much more. We have booked a hotel for the Tuesday night this time. Getting the 5am train was just too much last time, especially as mum had to get the 9pm train home and so was not getting in till midnight. Its a long day for anyone, I know I struggled with it. But more so than that, I dont want to put my mum through that. She is not young anymore and I stress her enough without adding more physical exhaustion.

Lucky Charing Cross has their own accommodation that they can rent you. Though the problem will arise more so if they decide to admit me. Mum will have necessities with her, so talking her into going home instead of staying will be a task. She wanted to stay last time, but I managed to talk her into going home as she didnt have her medication with her. Its not that I dont like having her nearby, but again its more stress on her, not to mention time off work and accommodation fees.

On that note, I am so so tired that I am going to curl up and sleep. ha, me in bed before 10, long time since I done that.