Saturday, September 18, 2010


I hate that feeling of going backwards.
Once I got out of hospital, I began moving forwards, exercise, getting out, dong things.
But with each day that passes, I seem to be able to do a little bit less than the day before. The things that I do do, make me a little more breathless each day and take a little longer. 
Once again, I have gone from being able to get dressed in less than 5 minutes, without stopping, to having to sit between each item I put on. To not only getting breathless going up the stairs, but now down the stairs too.

I am a little grouchy today.I didnt sleep well. From about 6am this morning, I awoke every half hour gasping for breath. I was meant to take my sisters kids out today to give her a break. She text me early this morning to cancel, one of them has a cold, which I cant mix with at the moment. I dont think my system would handle a cold on top of this. So whilst, I am annoyed that I didnt get to see them or do fun things with them, I am also pleased, as I wasnt in the best condition this morning for being active. Mum came into see me at 10am and we agreed, I should try get some more sleep. So after running a couple of nebs, propping myself up and taking some meds, I managed to fall back asleep and not wake till after 1pm.

My peak flows had dropped again this morning to 170, its not a huge drop, 10%, but believe me I can feel it. Of a morning, my peak flows are 170 and of a night they are about 240. Considering it was only a week ago, I was hitting 300.

But I see my consultant on Wednesday, and hopefully it is something they can easily fix. Just another little bump in the road.

Lucky, I have friends that know that my social limits are lazing about watching films. 
I saw an old friend the other day. I went to college and uni with her. She picked me up, cooked me dinner and we generally lazed about in her living room watching American Psycho and some other random films. American psycho was good but had an odd ending. It was kinda bitter sweet. It was great seeing her and later when the kids finished school it was wonderful to see them. But by the time 3pm hit, I was struggling to focus on basic conversation and found myself saying huh? and what? a fair few times as I had just blanked during conversation. I also didnt have the energy I would have liked to play with the kids.

It was sweet, her eldest, has basically known me all his life. I used to pick him up every morning and take him to nursery. He always referred to me as Kim Car as he was always in my car or on day trips to see the squirrels or reindeers and such. He had his friend over for tea and his friend asked why I talked funny. He told his friend its because she has a poorly voice.

What wasnt so sweet was his friends dad picking the friend up. When I spoke he kinda burst out laughing and then stopped. I guess I do kinda sound like a drag queen.

Anyway, tickets for wednesday are booked. Bloody £150 *grumbles* and I have to be up at like 5am oh noes.

ack enough for tonight, time to go watch some medical drama haha.

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