Saturday, March 06, 2010

Lovely bones and other not so fun stuff

Advanced warning: This is going to be a moany whiney post.

So Thursday night it took my forever to get to sleep as every time I dozed off I started chocking again. Thursday morning, mum comes in shouting and yelling at me because I hadnt put the hair dryer back in the cupboard. She started tipping out my wardrobe while I was still in a a semi unconscious state while I grumbled that I was sure I had put it back. She then stormed out my room muttering about not having time now anyway. I rumaged around for my glasses, fell out of bed and down the stairs, just as she shouts, oh I got it, it was in the cupboard all the time. yeh gee thanks mum, so I went back to bed and tossed and turned a bit more.

Then I had the benefits people come to interview me to make sure I was telling the truth. They took down loads of details, examined my back accounts and asked tons of questions. To be fair it wasnt to bad, but I dont like the way they see all your bank info meh. Anyway, I will probably be deducted some money from the time I was in hospital. Which again is stupid. They claim if you are living in hospital then you dont need money as the hospital provide everything. But I still have to pay tax and insurance on my car, I still had to pay my mobile phone bill in addtion to funding mobile internet while I was in. Plus I was out most the time in the day so was still spending money and it was right before christmas where every penny count. But thats the system so who am I to complain. Just got to await a letter now telling me how much I owe them.

Thursday night, I kind of slept. Woke up a few times, but was able to sort myself out and get back to sleep in a shortish amount of time. Went shopping with mum on Friday and really pushed myself. I didnt use the wheelchair at all. I thought, I have nothing planned tonight so I can just rest up after it. Had a couple of chocking fits while out and had to run out of the shop to deal with it (Believe, coughing your head off while gasping for air gets you plenty of odd looks if your in the middle of a shop.) I can usually just about hold my breath or take tiny breathes till I get outside to choke properly.

Anyway just sitting chilling out Friday night and my friend my knocked. She stayed for a bit, then suggested we go the cinemas. I still felt like shit, but I though to hell with it, it will break up my evening and give me a bit of company from my own age group.

We went to see lovely bones. It was very sad. I did cry, which is rare for me. But a lot of it also bought back a lot of memories. The whole being chased thing and then a few things that the various charcters said such as:
he didn't understand how much a father could love his child. 
 Holly said there was a wide, wide heaven beyond everything we knew; where there was no cornfield, no memory, no grave... but I wasn't looking beyond yet, I was still looking back. 
I was in the blue horizon between heaven and earth. The days were unchanging and every night I dream the same dream. The smell of damp earth. The scream no one heard. 
But apart from those type of moments, it was a good film.

Anyway, got home from that totally exhausted, did what I had to do on the net and then went to bed. Where I spent the next 2 hours coughing away, and because I got a coke in the movies needed to go the loo at like stupid oclock and then woke everyone in the house up at 6 with yet another coughing fit.

Dad forgot that I went shopping with mum so he woke me up nice and early so I could get my nebs and stuff in before going out with her grrrr.

Needless to say I had something to eat and went back to bed, where I slept through till mum woke me again at 3 for my tea.

So I thought I better put some physio/exercise in this evening as I have done nothing all day, but I couldnt keep up. So I ran a couple of extra nebs and ended up coughing so much I nearly puked. Lovely. After that I didnt feel much like going back to exercise.

Fun day huh.
I need more sleep. And I mean the good quality sleep, not the type you wake up coughing and aching from. My neck and back are majorlily starting to feel the strain.

1 comment: