Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success

I have energy. For the first time in weeks, I feel truly awake. Energy slowly seeping back into me. My body seems to be clearing up and working as it is meant to. And me, well I am loving it beyond words right now.

I know this is going to sound so cliche, but watching Harry Potter, somewhat marked the end of an era. Its amazing how different I am now to the person that I was when I read the first book, sitting in my Nephews bedroom, awaiting my turn on the playstation. He is 19 now and I do wonder what he thought of the film.

I have been meaning to post a proper entry here for a while, but never got around to it, and that in itself is a counter argument about what I wished to post. This week, my year at uni got their degree levels and such. They all did so well and I was proud for them, but at the same time I missed them. Being the only girl in a class of lads, was an interesting experience and one I wish I could have continued. I am content with myself, that I did all I could to stay in the class, ignoring several doctors when they scolded me for it. I long to go back and I will at some point.

Its strange to look back and wonder where my time was to go to uni. These days, my life is filled with so many things, that I hardly have the time to be bored. 

I had a lengthy discussion with a friend the other day about this. I used to dedicate a lot of time to a forum I worked on, but these days I seldom go there. At one point it was practically my life. 

Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.

Slowly my passions in differnt areas have grown and exploring these areas gives me the greatest pleasure. The one thing I am thinkfull for, is to be able to try so many new things and to have people around me who have supported me through these adventures. 

My biggest passions are spread between reading, photography and craft stuff. I love all of them and without them, I would be bored. I love my crafting and the bunch of people I have met through that. But it is more than just that. It is the contentment that comes with making pretty things. To being a big kid and sitting colouring images and getting a buzz when they look good. (I have just been playing with blue on blue colouring)

Where has all this speal come from today. Well, those who know me, know that I have been wanting to upgrade my camera for about the last 3 years. I love my bridge camera, but recently, I have outgrown it a little. I wanted a DSLR. I wanted a camera that would do what I told it to do right away in all conditions. I wanted the feel of the lense mirror flipping, that takes me back to when I used to stare at my dads camera when I was a lot younger.

So after saving for literally years, shifting some finances about and selling my car, today, I had the money and so I bought my first DSLR. And boy am I happy with it. It answers to the slightest touch. So much I can alter to get it to capture just right. And, the lad in the shop was a semi professional and was giving me loads of tips. oh I had so much fun. I have had a little play with it this evening, but I cant wait to get out there and try some real shots.

My life, in contrast to a few years ago, just seems so filled with so many loves and passions. If only there were more hours in the day. Least, I have had the opportunity to learn so much and study the things I like and for that I am most grateful.

This week is mums chemo week, marking week 3. The last round has been a difficult one and I think mum is very apprehensive about the next round. I dont really blame her, I guess this round has been a difficult one for her as she is still adapting to it all. 

I also have a friend visiting this week, which is exciting stuff. Lets hope this nice energy boost keeps up.

I have also signed up for a presentation course thing for being a public speaker, so that is running in August. But I shall write some more on that another day.

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