Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Aching and increased taste

My body aches today. The kind of pain that I would have once associated with spending a long time working out, or perhaps after working to many 12 hour shifts in a row. But these aches are no longer associated with extreme over work, but simply small amounts of work. My body is unfit, my muscles not used to moving and stretching. I am in a way annoyed at my body and myself for not being in better condition. Mu mind constantly says, well if I had pushed harder whilst in hospital, I could have kept in better shape. But deep down, I know that is not true. I kept my muscles moving best I could, stretching them routinely every few hours and pushing myself to move as best I could. But some times, its just not possible to make your body do what you want it to.

This isnt something that I should penalize myself for, but merely strive to improve it now that I have the ability, where possible.

Yesterday, I walked at a leisurely pace around the shops for about 2 hours. I felt rough. My body fought against having a trach and a stent in, but now it is fighting at having to work in a normal way. My nose, unused to having air travel through it, now feels dry and bleeds often. I know this is just an adjustment thing, but it still gets annoying. In the same way that I can feel my sinuses getting blocked from the dryness. Making my eyes feel huge and sore, kinda like when you have had a bad cold for a few days. Running extra nebulisers to moisten everything and taking some medications to clear it, but it still left me feeling rough yesterday.

Was meant to go out with a friend, but was not up to it, so stayed at home and watched a film with her instead. Lucky she has stayed by me through all this from the start. Not ran away and instead changed her plans and bought a sense of normality to my life even at times when it has been far from normal.

We watch Vampires suck. Now I am a huge fan of the twilight films, but this one was hilarious. It took the piss out of so much out of the twilight flims, with the 'sullen family' and had us both laughing aloud many times. It was good to be able to laugh aloud, but also nice that I didnt have to change out of my baggy t shirt and jeans.

Today, I ached. My legs from walking yesterday, my shoulders from standing upright and my arms, from carrying a bag yesterday. Again, I stretched the muscles, letting some of the tension ease. Managed to pry myself out of bed around 12 and promptly fell asleep on the couch about 2 till 4:30. Exhaustion washed over me. I must try to find the balance. Balance between pushing my body and letting it rest. They said 6-8 weeks recovery for this op, well I am just past 4 and I feel the need to return to normality. a normality that I have not experienced for at least a year.

I want to be out doing, moving, learning, earning, expanding, dancing, skipping and generally having fun.
I need direction
and goals.

I dragged my wii fit back out this evening. I pushed it into my cupboard when I was getting stressed with it last time. When I hit the point that no matter how hard I tried on it, I was able to do less each day. I didnt get very far on it, as the batteries need charging. But, I did do my weight. Granted the last time I had been on it, was over 2 months ago, but today it tells me I have lost 9lb. 9lb might not seem much in that time, but it is bloody good. Considering I have just done a month in hospital. I tend to put on in hospital, Sitting on my bed most the day and not moving really does not use much up, plus I comfort eat due to lack of distraction in hospital.

Speaking of food.
Food tastes amazing!!
It would appear that I am getting my tastes back. To be honest I didnt notice them going. Once I got my trach, I wasnt allowed to eat for a while, then when I was, I was to busy concentrating on getting it down past the tube without chocking on it to notice the taste. The only tastes I did struggle with was Garlic. Garlic just seemed to sit in my mouth and not move, ending up tasting stale. But today, I have noticed everything tastes nicer, more intense.
Had chicken and sweetcorn soup ealier and it jsut had so much flavor in it.

Oh how I love being tube free!

1 comment:

  1. I hope you get your energy back soon. Today I hiked up a hill to get a picture and I thought I was going to die.
    It sounds like a long healing process. Just think, you are half way there, depending on how well you do. Hopefully this will help you feel better.
    The movie Vampires Suck sounds funny. The 'Sullens'. That just cracks me up. Take good care, Kim.