So blogger has just told me that I am not following any blogs and have no posts to read, even though there is a list of like 20 bloggs on my follow thingy. :s How odd. So if I dont reply to your blogs, its not my fault, google is against me! lol
Im exhausted again. And my plans that I have had all week for an early night have failed, every night!
Liver clinic went fine, all bloods are normal and yep. ENT, well most of the clinic was cancelled as the surgeon was off. So considering I was supposed to see him a fortnight after my discharge in January, I still have not seen him. Its not essential that I see him as I am in London, but it would have been nice to have had some back up with things. Clinic was pretty much a waste of time tbh. The consultant didnt listen to a word I said, I asked him the same thing 3 times and he gave me an answer totally unrelated to what I had said. I asked him about my tube change 4 times before he actually realized I was asking him a question. I mean, I know my voice is crap, but he works in ENT, he should be considerate of this and listen and if he cant hear, then he is in the right department to go get his ears checked!
GP appointment was fine too. It was only a check up on my mole. They dont think it looks 'suspicious' but they dont like the way it is raised. So, given the risks of my meds, I am to keep an eye on it. And keep using the cream on it. If it hasnt gone flat in about 2 weeks, or it changes in any way at all, then I am to go back as I will probably need a referral (though I am already under dermatology anyway so I can prolly just organize that myself) But its all measured and stored on the computer.
So what else is new?!?!
I got bored of my hair. (theres a novelty)
I decided to give it a trim. I wanted to put some choppy layers into it and some more layered shape at the front.
The fringe still needs some off. I like having a long fringe as I can clip it back and it looks kinda funky. But I have a feeling for the next 2 weeks + I wont be doing much with my hair. So I have decided to cut it a bit shorter so it dosnt get in my eyes of a night and annoy me.
Oh and finally booked some place for my parents to stay in London. Its student accomodation, so I keep joking with them that they are becoming students again and various other jokes such as you cant teach an old dog new tricks. But the place is just around the corner from the hospital. Not only will they have their own room with a couble bed, TV and Desk, but also free internet! Which is great, but not so great as they dont own a laptop. Which is a bloody shame, but might see if I can find one, like putting my old one back together so that they can at least keep in touch with people at home easier. And because it will provide some nice communication for my mum when she is on her own.
Oh and even more on the plus side, they have their own kitchen, which means they can cook, rather than having to survive on takeaways. And it also means that when I can eat, I can get them to make yummy things like pasta (Which I lived on when I was in ICU with throat issues. Its tasty and filling yet gentle on the throat)
It all feels so real now. I think I am more aware of this surgery than I have been of any of my others. I just hope that I am not going to come down with a bump after it. The first surgery I had after all my major stuff was for an ovarian cyst and an appendicist. I was in pain to begin with, but I took it all calmly and the whole, I have come through worse, this will be easy. It wasnt easy and when I awoke in agony I couldnt push the morphine button enough. My stomach also wouldnt handle food and I just got very miserable and distressed.
The next surgery would have been my first hernia repair. I didnt think much about it, until the night before when I was alone in hospital miles from home when I went into panic. I stayed up the entire night watching films as I couldnt settle. I was afraid it was going to be like the last surgery, but i was nowhere near as bad.. Yes there was some pain, any surgery there is, but I have little feeling in my abdomen anyway from all the surgery so i managed it ok.
Then I had a couple of throat ops, but they were never that painful. My second hernia repair, I went into fairly laid back. Been there done that type of thing. Again it was painful, but I was more aware of what to look out for. The pain was bearable, but I was afraid to cough due to it, so I did end up getting my pain meds increased but it was mainly so I could handle a chest infection that I developed.
They were my main surgical things with a load of throat operations laced in between them all. Most of the time at the moment, when coming around from laser and such, I would have between 4-8mg Morphine, though usually written up for 10. It would depend on how much my body shakes. As odd as it sounds, I can deal with pain to a point, but my body complains and all the usual things like my pulse shoots up and my breathing shoots down. But the worst one is when my body shakes uncontrollably. They were worried once that I was going to have a seizure, but the pain meds settled it.
So I am hoping I can cope with it well and just sleep most of it off. But I am also worried that I will do what I did when I had my cyst out and go into meltdown afterwards and not deal with the pain. So fingers crossed and time to stop over thinking hehe.